Guilty Pleasure Cinema is a beautiful thing. One such catagory, no matter how good, bad, or ugly that always is rented or bought from a videostore is “shark cinema”. This week there is no doubt the big release to the old videostore is the physical copy of SKY SHARKS. Like a messed up child born from IRON SKY and SHARKNADO there is no question the curiousty of this slice of cheese will be on the top of movie nerds’ minds. Along with that title others are coming as well so let’s take a look shall we…

Low budget scifi film about a reluctant time-traveler who attempts to derail a future apocalypse. Ryan Kwanten, Seth Larney, 2020.

Hidden Gem! A group of scientists takes over a supermarket to root out an alien infestation.

Allan Quatermain once again teams up with Jesse Huston where the discovery of a mysterious old gold piece sends Quatermain looking for his long-lost brother, missing in the wilds of Africa after seeking a lost white race. Richard Chamberlain, Sharon Stone 

Lars Von Trier latest is a grotesque, psychological horror that travels deep into a dark world of sexuality, religious belief and bodily harm. Not for the faint of heart. Charlotte Gainsbourg, Willem Dafoe, 2009. 

Horror anthology film featuring evil clowns framed by a dissolute and disillusioned clown doing a standup-comedy routine about his lousy life. Raymond Lee, Sam Jaeger, Itziar Castro, 2020.  

Turkish horror film where a squad of unsuspecting cops goes through a trapdoor to Hell when they stumble upon a Black Mass in an abandoned building. Can Evrenol (2015)  

BIG RACKET: Fabio Testi (REVOLVER) stars as Inspector Nico Palmieri, a tough police detective tearing apart Rome to bust a ruthless protection racket. But when these violent thugs expand their empire into drugs, rape and murder, Nico throws away the rulebook
STREET LAW: A man seeks revenge after being held hostage and terrorized by a gang of thieves.
HEROIN BUSTERS: An Italian cop goes under cover to break up an international heroin smuggling ring and butts heads with a hot-tempered Interpol agent assigned by his agency to do the same task.

Animated series based on the comedy Black Dynamite which was a parody & tribute of blaxploitation films. Michael Jai White, Byron Minns, Tommy Davidson and Kym Whitley. 

Song Jinming (Qiang Li) and Tang Zhaoyang (Wang Shuangbao) work for low wages in rural China’s desolate and claustrophobic mines. They’ve concocted a scheme to make extra money, though: They pretend a fellow employee is their family member, murder him, then pass the death off as an accident and run away with the settlement. Their next target is green teenage boy Yuan Fengming (Wang Baoqiang), who is eager to tag along. However, Song becomes close with Yuan, and the operation is jeopardized

BLOOD TRACKS: Easy Action, a glam rock band, goes to the mountains to record the video of a new song. But many dangers are lurking, including an avalanche and the encounter with strange things.
PSYCHO SCARECROW: A tape recorded message from a murdered girl recounts the terrifying night she and her friends found themselves stuck in the middle of a haunted cornfield.

Horror films and computer games fascinate teenager Michael (Edward Furlong), and a CD-ROM that portrays murder from the killer’s point of view combines these interests. The first time Michael plays it, he kills a stranger and cuts off a foot, thinking the events take place in virtual reality. But the next day Michael finds a foot in his refrigerator, and cyber-ghoul Trickster (T. Ryder Smith) emerges from the program and forces him to keep playing — and to continue committing violent crimes.

Fleeing a devastating plague on Earth, an interstellar ark comes under attack from a new threat — a shape-shifting alien force intent on slaughtering what’s left of humanity.

The peaceful tranquility of a small Western town is disturbed when a murderous car wreaks havoc by viciously mowing down innocent victims. Sheriff James Brolin may be the only one who can stop this menace.  

Los Angeles policeman Lt. Marion “Cobra” Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone) finds himself at the center of a spate of murders carried out by a secret society called New Order: killers who select “weak” members of society for extermination. As the murder rate rises, Cobra takes model Ingrid (Brigitte Nielsen) into protective custody after she witnesses New Order’s leader in action. As Cobra falls for Ingrid, they find shelter in a small town, but must soon fight for survival.

A young American on a quest to find his missing father returns to Germany where his father was stationed at the end of WWII and slowly uncovers the strange meteor crash in a remote German valley has changed his family’s life.  

Parents fight to save their son when a mysterious creature uses his electronic devices to break into our world.

Best Bang For Your Buck! Cardiac Arrest / Day of the Animals / Grim / Tunnels / Dead Hate the Living / Don’t Go in the House / Deadly Instincts / With Friends Like These / You’re Driving Me Crazy / Shrunken Heads  

Milius presents John Dillinger (Warren Oates) as an almost mythical figure, tracing the rise and fall of the Depression era’s Public Enemy Number One as he takes on the banks and the G-men, led by the infamous Melvin Purvis. John Milius (1973)  

Indie film favourite starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Donnie is a troubled high school student with an imaginary friend, a six-foot rabbit named Frank, who tells him the world is going to end in 28 days 06 hours 42 minutes and 12 seconds. Richard Kelly (2001)  

After he’s taken into custody, a drug lord (Louis Koo) must help the police bust his former associates or else face the death penalty.

George C. Scott stars in this return to the terrifying saga of demonic possession as s police lieutenant in spiritual crisis tracks a rash of murders seeming to copycat a long dead serial killer. William Peter Blatty (1990)  

In this horror-comedy from Blumhouse, a reimaging of the classic Freaky Friday, a teen girl swap bodies with a middle aged male serial killer. Vince Vaughn, Kathryn Newton, Christopher Landon, 2020. 

His vision exposed a real world of raw life like no others. His career inspired a group of actors, writers and directors that changed movies forever. In these two acclaimed dramas from the late Alan Clarke, experience the unsparing work of the director

Two young boys accidentally release a horde of nasty, pint-sized demons from a hole in a suburban backyard. Now they must overcome a nightmarish hell that literally begins to take over the Earth. Tibor Takács (1987)  

Sir Robert Beaumont (Tom Wilkinson) is behind schedule on a railroad in Africa. Enlisting noted engineer John Henry Patterson (Val Kilmer) to right the ship, Beaumont expects results. Everything seems great until the crew discovers the mutilated corpse of the project’s foreman (Henry Cele), seemingly killed by a lion. After several more attacks, Patterson calls in famed hunter Charles Remington (Michael Douglas), who has finally met his match in the bloodthirsty lions.

Two death-obsessed sisters, outcasts in their suburban neighborhood, must deal with the tragic consequences when one of them is bitten by a deadly werewolf. Emily Perkins, Katharine Isabelle, Kris Lemche, 2000.  

Following the Battle of Antietam, Col. Robert Gould Shaw (Matthew Broderick) is offered command of the United States’ first all-African-American regiment, the 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry. With junior officer Cabot Forbes (Cary Elwes), Shaw puts together a strong and proud unit, including the escaped slave Trip (Denzel Washington) and the wise gravedigger John Rawlins (Morgan Freeman). At first limited to menial manual tasks, the regiment fights to be placed in the heat of battle.

The crew of ghost hunting TV show hole up in an abandoned psychiatric hospital hoping to catch some spooks on camera – a scenario that can only ever end badly, and it does.

4 decades in the making! Infamous abandoned horror sequel to Girdler’s classic about a grizzly killing teens in the woods finally sees the official light of day! Stars Louise Fletcher & stars-to-be Laura Dern, George Clooney and Charlie Sheen, 1983/2020. 

In Harlem, N.Y., crime boss Tommy Gibbs (Fred Williamson) is gravely injured while escaping a hit ordered by the corrupt district attorney, DiAngelo (Gerald Gordon). As he recovers, his father, Papa Gibbs (Julius W. Harris), assumes control of the gang, which angers Tommy’s best henchman, Zach (Tony King), who goes on to collaborate with DiAngelo and frame Papa Gibbs for the murder of Tommy’s ex-wife. This sets off a series of bloody betrayals that ricochet within the crime world.

In Los Angeles, television journalist Karen White (Dee Wallace) is traumatized in the course of aiding the police in their arrest of a serial murderer. Her doctor recommends that she attend an isolated psychiatric retreat led by Dr. George Waggner (Patrick Macnee). But while Karen is undergoing therapy, her colleague Chris (Dennis Dugan), investigates the bizarre circumstances surrounding her shock. When his work leads him to suspect the supernatural, he begins to fear for Karen’s life.

THE WAILING: Suspicion leads to hysteria when rural villagers link a series of brutal murders to the arrival of a mysterious stranger (Kunimura Jun).
IP MAN 3: Martial-arts master Ip Man takes on a crooked developer and his gang of brutal thugs who are trying to take over the city.
THE VILLAINESS: Honed from childhood to be an elite assassin, Sook-hee embarks on a rampage of violence and revenge to finally earn her freedom and escape her past.
TRAIN TO BUSAN: A man (Gong Yoo), his estranged daughter and other passengers become trapped on a speeding train during a zombie outbreak in South Korea.

Starring Sam Neill and Jürgen Prochnow, an insurance investigator begins discovering that the impact a horror writer’s books have on his fans is more than inspirational. John Carpenter (1994)  

After his ship sinks, Andrew Braddock (Michael York) washes ashore on a tropical island owned by Dr. Moreau (Burt Lancaster). While waiting for a ship to return him to civilization, Braddock becomes disturbed by the strange creatures roaming the island, and at the same time falls for the lovely Maria (Barbara Carrera), who lives with Moreau. Soon Braddock discovers that the creatures are the results of Moreau’s sinister experiments, and plots to escape before he himself becomes a victim.

Legendary assassin John Wick (Keanu Reeves) retired from his violent career after marrying the love of his life. Her sudden death leaves John in deep mourning. When sadistic mobster Iosef Tarasov (Alfie Allen) and his thugs steal John’s prized car and kill the puppy that was a last gift from his wife, John unleashes the remorseless killing machine within and seeks vengeance. Meanwhile, Iosef’s father (Michael Nyqvist) — John’s former colleague — puts a huge bounty on John’s head.

Comedic take on the oft filmed story of a great white hunter / adventurer. Richard Chamberlain, Sharon Stone, Herbert Lom, John Rhys-Davies, J. Lee Thompson, 1985  

This fun, nostalgic doc reveals why Blockbuster corporate really went out of business & follows the manager of the last Blockbuster Video as she struggles to keep the store open. Includes comedians & celebrities with ties to Blockbuster. 2020 

A sexy space vampire comes to earth and begins to transform the population of London into zombies. From director Tobe Hooper and writer Dan O’Bannon. Steve Railsback, Mathilda May, Peter Firth, 1985. 

Harry Dean Stanton stars as Lucky, a 90 years old who is spiritually lost. Seeking meaning beyond his desert hometown in his final days, he sets out on a journey of self-discovery that proves both sobering and satisfying. John Carroll Lynch (2017) 

A female vampire (Louise Fletcher) needs to bathe in the blood of virgins in order to stay alive, but they are in short supply.

Cult homage to the Universal monster matinees of the 1940s. Duncan Regehr, Tom Noonan, Fred Dekker, 1987.  

Cult film about a farmer who murders passers-by and then creates delicious smoked meat from their flesh! Rory Calhoun, Paul Linke, Kevin Connor, 1980  

In 1920 an archaeological expedition discovers the tomb of an ancient Egyptian child prince. Returning home with their discovery, the expedition members soon find themselves being killed. John Gilling (1967)  

New York lawyer Vinny has never won a case. When his teenage cousin Bill and his friend Stan are accused of murder in a backwater Alabama town, it’s up to the nervous Vinny to save him from jail, even though he’s only ever tried personal injury cases before, and none of them successfully.

Fun cult film about a pair of Valley Girls who survive the apocalypse and must defend themselves against zombies while they go shopping. Mary Woronov, Catherine Mary Stewart, Robert Beltran, Kelli Maroney, 1984.  

Spanish horror-mystery about the pandemonium unleashed when the count of a cursed Eastern European village dies mysteriously. Features beefy genre heavyweight Paul Naschy in a supporting role. Stelvio Rossi, José Luis Merino, 1973. 

In this gory and disturbing thriller assassins use a mind-control device which shunts the consciousness of the victim in a dark recess when taken over. Brandon Cronenberg, 2020. 

After college student Taguchi (Kenji Mizuhashi) commits suicide, a number of young adults living in Tokyo witness terrifying visions transferred across the Internet. As more people disappear throughout the city, the Internet becomes a breeding ground for malevolent spirits. Three seemingly disconnected stories follow Michi (Kumiko Aso), Ryosuke (Haruhiko Katô) and Harue (Koyuki) as they attempt to solve the mystery behind the ghostly visions that are seeping beyond their computer monitors.

Filmmaker Tara Wood takes us on a journey through the first 8 wildly divergent films that Tarantino has helmed, narrated by the actors and collaborators who have worked with him.  

UWE BOLL’s Trilogy in one nice set!

Australian horror film about a great white shark hunts the crew of a capsized sailboat along the Great Barrier Reef. Andrew Traucki, 2010. 

Starring Heather Locklear Everyone’s favorite muck-encrusted plant-man falls in love with Dr. Arcane’s sexy daughter and must rescue her from her father’s nefarious and murderous plans. Jim Wynorski (1989)  

Deirdre (Natascha McElhone) puts together a team of experts that she tasks with stealing a valuable briefcase, the contents of which are a mystery. The international team includes Sam (Robert De Niro), an ex-intelligence officer, along with Vincent (Jean Reno), Gregor (Stellan Skarsgard) and others. As their operation gets underway, several team members are found to be untrustworthy, and everyone must complete the mission with a watchful eye on everyone else.

After taking refuge in a remote cabin, he discovers a macabre videotape that triggers his memory of a family holiday, turned nightmare and he sets out on a desperate search to find his two missing children. But his search reveals unsettling clues and the terrifying truth that he is not alone.

An astonishing film variously described as “Bat-Shit wonderful”, “Bat-shit crazy” and, most simply, “Bat-shit”. Audience fave at Toronto After Dark. Quentin Dupieux, 2010. 

They don’t come prescient or cheesier then this violent Arnie sci-fi thriller about a reality TV show where criminals fight for their lives. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Brown, Yaphet Kotto, Maria Conchita Alonso, Richard Dawson, Jesse Ventura, 1987.  

A small town is terrorized by “The Banana Killer”, which turns out to be the missing link between man and ape. John Landis (1973)

Not ready for marriage, a fashion model moves into an unbelievably nice Brooklyn Heights apartment, where scary occurrences turn into a much more frightening turn of events. Cristina Raines, Ava Gardner, Chris Sarandon, Michael Winner, 1977.

One of the few slashers produced during the short-lived, early 80s revival of 3D movies! Remarkably well shot and rarely available in its original 3-D anaglyph version. Howard Johns, Simon Nuchtern.  

An orphan raised by nuns (Lilyan Chauvin, Gilmer McCormick) grows up to be a killer toy-store Santa Claus.

Forget Sharknado… The world is terrorised by a swarm of flying sharks piloted by Nazi zombies! Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Tony Todd, Eva Habermann, Marc Fehse, 2020. 

Detective Rick Santoro (Nicolas Cage) has never played by the rules. When he attends a high-profile boxing match with his friend Navy Cmdr. Kevin Dunne (Gary Sinise), as well as Defense Secretary Kirkland (Joel Fabiani), he witnesses a terrorist assassinate Kirkland. Despite a lockdown on the arena, key witness Julia Costello (Carla Gugino) escapes — and Santoro begins to suspect Kirkland’s death is part of a much larger conspiracy that involves boxing rivals and a beautiful stranger.

A same-sex couple move to a small town to enjoy a better quality of life and raise their daughter with strong social values. But when neighbours throw a very strange party, nothing is as it seems in their picturesque neighbourhood. Lochlyn Munro, 2019. 

The classic sci-fi beauty along with it’s two forgettavle sequels.

A pierced and tattooed sadist, Captain Howdy (Dee Snider), trolls the Internet for naive teens, luring them to his home to torture and defile them. When Howdy kidnaps and tortures the daughter of police Detective Mike Gage (Kevin Gage), he is caught. Deemed insane, he is sent to an asylum but is released soon after, seemingly better. However, Gage knows it is only a matter of time before Howdy strikes again, and he’s ready to unleash his own form of retribution when the time comes.

Young Jason is the only one who doesn’t love The Stuff, and everyone who eats it has started acting really weird… Now Jason must put a stop to The Stuff or face a gooey, gloopy demise. Larry Cohen (1985)  

In his finest performance, Burt Lancaster stars as a man who confronts his destiny by swimming home, pool by pool, through the suburban nightmare of upper-class East Coast society. Based on the acclaimed short story by John Cheever. 1968.

Based on the book Sybil by Flora Rheta Schreiber, the movie dramatizes the life of a shy young graduate student, Sybil Dorsett (in real life, Shirley Ardell Mason), suffering from dissociative identity disorder as a result of the psychological trauma she suffered as a child.

A freewheeling take on visionary inventor Nikola Tesla, his interactions with Thomas Edison and J.P. Morgan’s daughter Anne, and his breakthroughs in transmitting electrical power and light. Ian Lithgow, Eve Hewson, Ethan Hawke, Michael Almereyda, 2020. 

A police officer comes to grips with a death of his mom when giving a heartfelt eulogy at her funeral. Jim Cummings (2018)  

Evil toys magically come to life to terrorize a couple and their children inside a secluded mansion.

Contemporary adaptation of ‘Romeo & Juliet’ is heavy on body-piercing, cybersex, gore, a monstrous penis, & buckets of vomit – and is surprisingly touching. James Gunn, Lloyd Kaufmen, 1996.  

A comic-book nerd and Elvis fanatic Clarence (Christian Slater) and a prostitute named Alabama (Patricia Arquette) fall in love. Clarence breaks the news to her pimp and ends up killing him. He grabs a suitcase of cocaine on his way out thinking it is Alabama’s clothing. The two hit the road for California hoping to sell the cocaine, but the mob is soon after them.

Starring David Byrne, John Goodman, Annie McEnroe, a small but growing Texas town, filled with strange and musical characters, celebrates its sesquicentennial and converge on a local parade and talent show. David Byrne (1986)  

Starring Rutger Hauer. The bounty hunter Nick is offered $250,000 by CIA to get the terrorist behind the bombing of an LA movie theater. Nick quit CIA – he couldn’t trust them. Can they be trusted now? Gary Sherman (1986)  

back In Stock! The cult movie and the first two seasons of the brilliant TV show spin off!

A psychopathic killer terrorizes a babysitter, then returns seven years later to menace her again. Fred Walton (1979)  

A chilling political science fiction drama about the takeover of American government by young radicals. Christopher Jones, Shelley Winters, Hal Holbrook, Richard Pryor, Barry Shear, 1968  

Cult 80’s horror about a vengeful ghost, hot rods and a rocking soundtrack. Clint Howard, Nick Cassavettes, Charlie Sheen, Sherilyn Fenn. 1987.  

Back In Stock! College friends find their weekend of sex and debauchery ruined when deadly zombie beavers swarm their riverside cabin.

And there we go. This week’s upcoming cinema. Hope you see something fun to watch. See you all soon and remember…the videostore loves you. Cheers!